The determined idealism that had earlier driven my mission at the Society for Promotion of Youth and Masses (SPYM) has been replaced by a tempered realism. I had previously worked through pure determination and passion to help the tormented children at the drug rehab centers. I spent my days carefully and painstakingly compiling all of my observations and notes on life at the rehabilitation centers into the new standard operating procedures (SOPs). I wanted to fix every problem, help every child, and get the new SOPs fully drafted and implemented through my hard work, no matter what obstacles were in my way.
However, now that it is time to actually put the procedures into place, the realities of trying to bring about change in the real world have hit me with full force. The reality is that the implementation of the new SOP’s poses challenges that I simply cannot overcome in the short span of one summer.
An daily schedule in implementation at one of the SPYM centers.
Many of the important fixes I suggested are not possible due to factors beyond my control. SPYM’s meager funding is not enough to pay for full time psychiatrists at the centers. Many staff are unable or unwilling to save files on computer software—this was not part of their native work culture. Proposals to mitigate the transfer of children from the centers to government hospitals get hopelessly stuck in complex political webs. Overall, the stigma around juvenile drug abuse makes it extremely difficult to move large scale operations forward in a short period of time. I now realize that it will take months, perhaps years, before the new SOPs can be fully implemented. No matter how hard I toil, this project will not reach full completion in one mere summer in Delhi.
Drawings done by some of the children at the SPYM centers.
This troubling realization left me distressed and severely questioning my purpose. Yesterday, I decided to speak with some more experienced SPYM interns for help. They have known the frustrations of this job much longer than I have, and through their advice I managed to make sense of the dilemma.
I see now that in my role as a summer intern, I am not expected to solve the deep-rooted problems plaguing these children and this organization. In fact, it is counterproductive to blindly labor to fulfill something beyond my reach. Instead, I have to accept my limitations and work productively within them. I am only an intern here for two months, and I have to re-evaluate my expectations for the summer. I might not be able to implement the new SOPs, but I can work hard to draft them and get them ready for the next phase. This task may be small, but it is an essential step towards fixing the bigger issues at the organization. If I am overwhelmed by the burden of implementation to fix the wide-scale problems right now, there is no way I can get that smaller job done. I have to accept my limitations, adjust my goals, and understand that aiming for less right now will accomplish more in the long run. This is a difficult lesson for me to take in, but it will be crucial for the rest of my time here in India.